Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Wilbo Now Praises Old Motels

Tuesday morning, Wilbo drove between two concrete barricades south on US 219, the Buffalo - Pittsburg Highway. The morning had advanced to 4:00 AM, and Wilbo was experiencing drowsiness. Barricades marked each side of the one lane open south of Bradford, home of Brad-Penn Oil (Or is it Penn-Brad Oil?), and a millisecond of drowsiness meant scraping his bonzer truck against the left or the right barricade. He noticed on the west a neon sign two or three stories tall, as brilliant and pastel as any sign in Las Vegas.

He noticed this a few tenths of a mile south of a tall tower burning a brilliant flame fueled by refinery waste products. Wilbo didn't know that Bradford also hosted Zippo Lighter's Visitor Center, but in the morning when he knew, he was certain Zippo was missing a great opportunity for an eye catching sign: a Zippo lighter with a flame five feet tall!

Wilbo had been fairly determined to drive into the morning and get by on catnaps in reststops when daylight came, but the stupidity that puts one out on a road at 4:00 in the morning should not be compounded by wrecking ones car at 4:15 in the morning. He was worried he could be pulled over for impaired driving; he descried as many as ten police cruisers waiting for improper drivers as he made his way south of Buffalo. Wilbo knew that it is better to take the law into ones hand and follow it than to require a officer of the law to enforce it with a pull-over. And so, he pulled off PA 219 and checked himself into the DeSoto Holiday House, which had a 24 hour reception desk and a noon check out. He could grab a full 8 hours sleep before having to vacate.

First, after opening his door with a real key on a mailable fob, he checked in the bathroom for a sunlamp. No sunlamp, but his room featured a ceiling to floor wide as the room door wall, a delightful feature as pleasing to watch as a big screen high definition television. And with his truck parked safely under his balcony and only fifty dollars gone for the room fee, Wilbo slept dreamfully on one of the twin beds, under a quilt washed so many times, it was softer than down. At this honest hotel, there was no clerk making up a rack rack based upon how tired Wilbo looked. He ordered a wake-up call, and the call rang on a heavy black phone with a rotary dial.

Where Pennsylvania Toils for Oil

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