BUSTED Magazine is a freaky Facebook. Think of it as being friended by bar association, county judges and penal system, every officer of the law from dog catcher up.

This is a strange kind of Facebook, busted magazine. LetS make it
clear, absconder and scofflaw, those are not stalkers. They're Sworn
Officers of the Law and no Personal Protection Order from even the
highest court in the land will keep them away. When one of these new
friends comes to give you a free ride to the clubhouse, AKA the
courthouse, just go with it. You should know that the boys and girls
in Blue have their own social network. It's called the Thin Blue Line
It's so powerful & amazing it doesn't require the internet to operate,
even computers, and it's only slightly impared by the closure of
doughnut shops. Do you think the cities drop by for cups of joe & a
dozen glazed Doughnut shoppes are practically the servers for the
Thin Blue Line, and the coffee & cruellers always come with a side of
dirt, off-the-record deep background information. So just take a seat
and go with it.

So many of you are unfortunate because someone neglected to teach you
basic urban skills. Mr. Open Container in the Car, who forgot to teach
you how to chug. Miss OWI, when you were you supposed to learn hailing
the cab and the teacher didn't appear. Ms. Failure to Appear, no one
explained the difference between a court summons and a Facebook event,
did they. Mr. Domestic Violence, did you miss the memo that if an
argument lasts for more than two minutes, go take a walk around block
or call a buddy and sleep on the couch. Miss Obstructing Police, did
someone forget to tell you, if the man is in blue, his path is true.
Mr. False Information, repeat after me, "I have the right to remain
silent, I have the right to remain silent, I have the right to remain
silent." As for trying to lie to a police officer, when did you fail
to gather that you should never lie to anyone who has witnesses,
detectives, scientists and college professors on his side, not to
mention the pure information from that social network, the thin blue
line. Mrs Driving While License Suspended needs a bus schedule, a taxi
phone number or a friend with wheels, registration, insurance, valid
license, a sober disposition and no reefer seeds under the car mat. If
you don't know anyone like that, try a church. Madame Counterfeiting,
are you kidding. Your printer can't be that good. Sir Deliver
Narcotics or Cocaine, consider newspapers, pizzas, flowers or even
court warrants instead. Mister Possess Marijuana, have you considered
being diagnosed for chronic you name it and getting a prescription.
Sir Hit and Run, remember next time, if ever you get a chance to get
behind the wheel again, might I suggest never running dirty since
accidents tend to happen at inopportune time and demand that you stop
and share all secrets with the representative of the thin blue line
social network.

Well, I should move along from this pizzaria before I look like a loiterer.

When in doubt about the law, sit on your couch until you figure out a
legal, next move.